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Picking up cooked couscous off a tiled floor is a simple and effective way to torture people. First, they’re cooked, right? Meaning they’re both warm and sticky so brooms are rendered ineffective. Try it! You can’t! Even couscous cooking kings would be on their hands and knees getting those stupid grains up. And they’re cooked! So they feel all warm and sticky and creepy against your stupid, fat fingers! And they stick to the linoleum! They don’t even want to go! They use other trickery to try and fool you - they’re both so tiny and blend with the indentation of the tile so much that as you put your hand down, you think, no, there’s no way, this time’ll be different, but there it is! YET ANOTHER WET ORB threatening that if you don’t get it now, it will turn into an embarassing weird floor pancake that you’ll have to explain when guests come over (this in addition to the weird iron burn mark that you always have to say was there when you moved in). I eventually called it a day and shoved all the remainder that I could feel in the crack between the linoleum and the wood paneling.
You have bested me, couscous.
It’s a good thing you taste good.
Posted on March 28, 2010 with 3 notes
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bridgecomedy posted this
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I'm an actress & comedian based out of NYC. I like leaving voicemails for my family's toy poodle Muffin. I do a bunch of shows - improv, standup, sometimes even music with my name twin as The Bridgets Fitzgerald. Thanks for stoppin' in! If you would like to be added to my mailing list, just shoot me a line - bridgecomedy at gmail * com.
